Casserole

It was the second time that week Karen had dropped something. First the groceries and now a vase. It seemed odd, since she wasn’t a typically klutzy person. Of course, she had a good reason to be distracted. Kevin’s proposal had come out of no where and she still hadn’t given him an answer. They’d known each other a total of three months and although they had hit off from the very beginning, she hadn’t really anticipated things progressing so quickly. Neither had her best friend. After the romantic dinner, Kevin had gotten down on one knee right there in the restaurant, and Karen had somehow awkwardly gotten him back into his seat before excusing herself to the restroom. She’d called Beth from the small foyer and hurriedly explained the situation.
“He did what?” Beth had exclaimed. “Just like that, before dessert, he popped the question?”
“Yeah, and the ring is gorgeous. You’d flip, Beth; it’s almost a full carat yellow diamond. I mean, I knew Kevin had been enjoying his job at Morgan Sterling Bank, but dude…” Karen had trailed off. She knew she wasn’t ready to say yes, but having that rock around her finger was awfully tempting.
“So he’s buying your consent? What, is he gonna give your dad a pair of oxen?”
“Actually, I’m sure my dad would prefer a sailboat.”
“Well, whatever. What are you gonna say?
Karen had gotten out of the way of the door as a middle-aged woman in a paisley dress had come into the bathroom. “I have no idea. I’m not going to say yes, but saying no is huge, like ‘Thank you for the ring, but get out of my life’ huge.”
“Yeah. Well, maybe you should stall. Ask for a week to think about it.”
“You’re allowed to do that?”
“Sure! It’s a big deal.”
“I guess… alright. I’ll talk to you about it when I get home tonight.”
“I’ll be up preparing my history lesson for tomorrow. I want all the details.”
“Of course.” Karen had clicked shut her cell phone and walked back to her table.
And now she was cleaning up small shards of blue glass, five days later and she still didn’t have an answer. What was her problem? This was a Yes-or-No question and for other people it was easy. So what if she didn’t know him as well as she might’ve liked. Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice resounded in her head: “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance… it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.” Karen put the dustpan away and sat down on the sofa. She stared at the ceiling. Silhouettes of dead bugs littered the inside of her fluorescent light. She envisioned herself as Mrs. Kevin William Brocker. And then she imagined herself single. She saw herself walking down the aisle in a white veil, and she saw herself sitting at home, studying to be a dental hygienist all by herself. Time to call Mom.
She reaches for the phone and punched in the number.
“Hello?” her mom answered.
“Hey Mom. Guess what!”
“You need money?”
“Well, maybe. But no. You remember Kevin? You met him last month at Dad’s birthday party.”
“Oh yes, of course. Tall, brown hair, nice clothes. Banker. I liked him.”
“Well, good. How would you like him as a son-in-law?”
“A what? Did he propose?” Karen’s mom squealed.
“He did. Last Friday actually.”
“Last Friday? And you didn’t call me? Well, when’s the date?”
“See that’s the problem. I haven’t answered him yet.”
“Ohh…. I see. And what do you want to say?”
“I don’t know.” Karen paused, pursed her lips, and then said, “Well, actually, I think I want to say yes.” Karen let the word linger in the air as she felt little tingles crawl from her scalp to her hands. She shivered and smiled. “Right before you called, I didn’t know, but I think that I want to say yes. I want to be engaged.”
“Yes, but do you want to be engaged to Kevin?” her mom pressed.
“Ya know… I think I do. I hadn’t really planned on marrying him, but he’s a great guy and he’s obviously not afraid of commitment and he mentioned he wants to have three kids, which happens to coincide with my views on the subject.”
Karen’s mom laughed. “I see. So are you going to call him?”
“Nah. I’ll sleep on it and talk to him about it when he comes over tomorrow night. I told him I’d cook. Speaking of which, I told Beth I’d make dinner tonight, and she’ll be home in a half hour, so I better go. Talk to you later, Mom.”
“I love you, darling. Call me after you speak with Kevin. I’ll wait to tell your father until it’s all decided. Although it might be nice if Kevin asked for his blessing…?”
“Yeah right, Mom. We’ll see. I’ll call you Saturday. And thanks for listening. Love you—bye!”
“Bye!”
#
Karen heard a car park and hurried to the window. She watched as Kevin got out of his car, locked the doors, and began climbing the stairs to the apartment. She was feeling a little giddy. She hadn’t told him anything; he’d given her the requested space and come at the scheduled time. He would be so happy.
He knocked at the door and she threw it open with a grin. He’d brought her daisies – her favorite – and kissed her on the cheek.
“Hello, Beautiful.” He stared into her eyes with a huge question mark carved into his forehead.
Karen stared at the wrinkles with a vague feeling of revulsion, but answered sweetly, “Hello, darling, please come in.”
She held open the door and Kevin led the way into the kitchen. He took his coat off and laid it on the sofa. They stood somewhat awkwardly until Karen thought, “Flowers. Water. Vase” and turned to take care of the blossoms.
“Something smells…” Kevin sniffed and then grimaced. “Burnt.”
“Oh crap!” Karen set down the pink mug she’d filled with daisies and turned to the oven. “Well, there goes our casserole.”
She turned and held up a porcelain dish with a black crust and laughed self-consciously. He took it from her hands and carried it over to the sink. He pulled a spoon from the strainer and began scraping off the charred section. As each spoonful plopped into the sink, Karen cringed. Now he thought she was a bad cook. Maybe she was a bad cook. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be a wife. Because wives cooked. He didn’t want to marry a woman who baked burnt tuna fish casserole. He wanted a wife who could compile gourmet meals while helping the children with their homework. And she didn’t really want three children. She wanted four, and who was he to decide that they should only have three? It seemed like she had as much right to choose in that decision as he did.
Kevin finished salvaging the casserole and turned with a smile. “There, all fixed!”
“I want four children!” Karen blurted out.
He looked at her in confusion.
“And you only want three, so… I can’t marry you!” Karen went on.
Now Kevin looked even more confused. “Wait… Huh?’
Karen opened her mouth to explain her train of thought, realized that somewhere the train had jumped the tracks, and shut her mouth. “My answer is no.”
“Because of the burnt casserole or because you want an extra child?
“Both. Neither. I don’t know.” Karen whimpered and slumped into a kitchen chair.
Kevin sat down opposite her and reached out to take her hands. “Karen, it’s okay to be confused. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I think maybe I went too fast. I love you very much, but if you need more time… I’m okay with that.”
Karen looked up at him with pathetic hope. “Really? Because I like you—and maybe even love you—but… but more time would be nice.”
Kevin smiled, “More time it is then. You let me know when you’re ready either way and I will just be patient. Now… How about some casserole?”